My addiction.

Video Games, whether it be online, console, or pc, they have all too cleverly became the center of my universe at one point in my life. As much as I would like to think that this was some sort of lame joke, it clearly, was not.

I find it unfortunate that I let Games, especially counter-strike, get the best of me during my early high school years and childhood, where it was imperative to let my identity grow like a well nurtured plant. I feel that my foundation for all discipline, or lack thereof, was demolished and consumed when I was in my gaming rampage.

How did i come to terms with such a silly conclusion?

1. My core priorities had changed from tending to those I love and care about to playing counter-strike (i.e. would become angry with mother when told to do simple chores such as taking out the garbage)
2. It was an escape to my reality of depression I faced in high school, when a person focuses on something it can and will become their reality, thus my reality was no longer facing depression rather than running away and playing counter-strike
3. The countless hours of time spent playing was a clear indication that i was addicted but was in denial and hadn't realized so (i.e. 7am-2:30pm would be school time, 2:40pm-4am was time spent play counter-strike
4. When others would get bored of playing or fatigue, I would never want to stop, and would become irritated when told to stop.
   

As petty of an issue this might seem to certain people, I deeply believe this was a determining factor in which had set a path of destruction in my life. I'm also glad I have come to reach this conclusion because now I know to make this a priority in my life to never play games again. Although this will not be an easy task for me because there is not a moment in time at home when i am not thinking about playing again, and i am fearful for that but also feel that this task is not impossible.